A hug a day keeps the therapist away

Whew, Friday was a big day. We raced off to Brisbane for Tara's bandage change...and forgot to give her the anti-pain medicine first. Argh! Had to turn around and go back home. Finally made it to the Royal Children's and it all went so well. We held up a pink kokoi between Tara (reading Princess Stories) and her leg so she didn't have to watch the nurses take the bandage off. The blisters are healing brilliantly. WHEW! And Tara actually snuck a look at the end and LOVED how her stump's shaping up. Looking good. Now wrapped in purple.

We saw a man with only one eye afterwards, and Tara asked "what happened to that man's eye" which was a perfect segue for another conversation preparing her for how people will say the same to each other about her leg. And she said "yes, we forget that my leg's not usual for other people because we see it all the time". So I was chuffed - she's got a handle on it...and then less than an hour later we experienced our first test of the really bad stares and it was me who failed miserably! We were at the art gallery - looking at the gorgeous Andy Warhol Marilyn and Jackie originals - just basking in this man's creativity and huge open-mindedness...when some really messy schoolkids walked in, stopped, stared, pointed, whispered and then even left their group to 'surreptitiously' walk past us and have a closer stare. ARGH! I wanted to kill them. And then they smiled at me afterwards in that patronising way people smile at wheelchair pushers, like we're so sanctimonious and the person in the chair doesn't exist. I just glared at them. And then I felt so bad afterwards. They were just doing what's natural. Obviously if they'd been a little better brought up they may have had the guts to actually say hi and smile at Tara, instead of treating her like an exhibit. But, but but...they were just curious - and there's nothing more fantastic in a human being than curiosity and a hunger to learn! So next time I've gotta find a way to engage them so they can be more honest and respectful in satisfying that curiosity. 

There have definitely been a lot more adults also staring at Tara since the op - it's funny coz when she had the brace on everyone would stop and ask her what happened. Now they seem a little scared to ask! But you can see their hearts melt and a tenderness glaze over in their eyes. Just immediately. It's lovely, and also not. We'd HATE for Tara to ever be a source of sympathy for anyone. She's the opposite!! She's the kid you wanna be - someone who is so naturally happy and loving her life, and has a brilliant future ahead of her. What more could you ask for? Actually Tara was saying yesterday that all a kid needs is 5 or more hugs a day (Jadie says kisses too). You don't need feet or hands to be complete; or 10 toes to be happy. You just need to love...and to be loved, understood and seen for who you are. So when we hear people say (well meaningly) that they feel sorry for Tara we're learning to just ignore it and remember that that's not how people who know Tara feel. With those who feel 'sad' for her, it's more often a reflection of themselves - their own fears, feelings and stereotypical views - than anything remotely to do with Tara Balara! (That's not to say that Tara's experiences don't bring the odd tear to the eye...but that they're tears of admiration or gratitude rather than of pity.)

Anyway - back to yesterday! After Brisbane we stocked up with biltong, droe wors, Tex bars and Fanta Grape at the Springbok Shop - and then skidded into St Hilda's. AND WOW! The school has just been amazing. They gathered all the Years 3-6 together yesterday and gave them a little talk about Tara -  and applied the same philosophy that we LOVE - telling the girls that there's no need to treat Tara like she's 'special' and needs a head start on anything. She's an equal and they must compete with her in the same way they do with each other. Cassie and Jadie were invited to the front to talk about Tara's condition and op. Apparently Cas just fell in love with that microphone and couldn't stop talking (but her teacher said she was FAB and very articulate). Jadie managed to squeeze in a word about the clowns, but she was also very good!

So when we arrived at the school with Tara, she felt like a movie star! We visited each of the Year 3 classes, and Cas's Year 4 class, and the girls were all just sooooo divine and so happy to see Tara. And she was SO excited to see them - she showed them how she tickles her toes that aren't there anymore and had an amazing time (and got heaps more pressies and cards. THANK YOU!!!!). The teachers were of course all brilliant - like an Oprah audience - they always look so good AND they're interesting! 

And the best news is that the Head of Junior School has decided to swap the classes around for next term so that  Tara can wheel herself into a downstair's classroom! That's just phenomenal and obviously we hugely appreciate the effort the school and all the parents are going to for us. Wow! Bit of a tearjerker. Sweet, sweet kindness.  Mrs Kirby's letter to the parents about the class move ended with "given the attitude that Tara and her sisters, Cassandra and Jade, have demonstrated in the lead up to the operation I believe that we will see a very happy little girl return to school and delighted to be amongst her friends once again". SO true. And we're so proud of all 3.

Inspired by Warhol, Tara spent the evening doing stunning sketches of Tone and I (we weren't stunning - her pics were!) in one of her new books. Girls are on holiday now for two weeks. YAY! Altho' sob, it's first day today - and we've had to drop them off at Granny's (they were excited) so Tone and I can catch up on some of the work we missed during the week.

And just in case we sound totally self-involved - a HUGE congratulations to Zigs & Christian and Jason & Lisa whose life events this week (wedding and baby) were obviously a LOT bigger than ours!