Wednesday, March 5, 2008

A Conversation with Tara

We pinned Tara and her sisters down and had a conversation about the things many of you ask about. These are excerpts:
So Tarakie, how did you feel when the lady phoned to say your op is going to be on the 25th of March?
Well, a little bit excited. And I can't wait!

What are you the most excited about?
Getting my leg cut off and getting a pretend leg and then I can go backwards more easily and do more things - like swimming, running, skipping, ice-skating AND wearing two shoes! I've never worn two shoes before.

And Jade & Cas - are you two excited?
J: Well, I'm kinda sad that leggie loo's going away.

Tara, are you gonna miss leggie loo?
Actually, I don't know because it hasn't happened yet. But well sort of, but I'm so excited about getting a bigger leg and a stronger one. Leggie loo's been a little naughty because she stopped me doing a few things. She's a baby [holds leggie loo up to her face, like you'd cradle a baby].

Do we all love leggie loo?
All: YES!!!

Dad: I can't wait for you to get your prosthesis Tara, so I can chase you up and down and make you run and sweat so you feel your lungs aching.
[All laugh. Tara very excited.]

Now who's looking forward to the week in hospital?
Cas & Tara: ME!!!
J: I don't want to. I want to go to school. I want to stay at Granny's house and she can take me to school.

Well - good news - there's a school for kids at the hospital! You could go to that. And after a week, it's school holidays so you won't miss anything.

Tara, why do you think God gave you leggie loo?
Because he thought I would be the right person to get a leggie loo, and He thought I'd do well with it.

And do you think you've done well with it?
Yes.

Dad: You've done phenomenally well.
Mum: Amazing. And your sisters as well. Do you think God planned for this family to have us 5 specifically in it?
Yes.

We all help each other. And Tara, have you noticed that by having leggie loo, it's allowed you some opportunities to meet people...
...and to experience things.

What kind of things do you think you've experienced that are different to other people?
Going to hospital and staying there till Christmas Eve. And I got to experience crutches. And I got to experience the brace, and the plaster on my leg. And when you go to the airport, you beep [at security] and you get to learn things sort of because they stop you and talk to you and tell you when they've been in hospital.

Has it ever annoyed you? People stopping you?
Sometimes when people ask me too much times...sometimes when they forget and they ask me again. And sometimes I go somewhere and lots of people ask me. I remember once at Budds Beach when I was walking and these ladies were chatting and then they stopped to ask me...

Wow, you remember that day. There were actually lots of people and you asked why they were staring at you & asking questions, and you told me you wished they would stop. And we had a long conversation about how they don't mean to be rude - but it's the first time they've seen a brace so it's not familiar to them...and that once  you answer their questions they'll understand it more and get used to it, and then they'll stop staring. Just like you stare at something that you've never seen. And we also discussed how it's much better when people ask questions because they're being honest - instead of those other people who pretend they can't notice it.
Dad: And it's important for Tara to remember that when you have your prosthetic - people are going to still ask you questions because they'll notice it.
Mum: Until you're fully grown your pretend leggie will be a slightly different colour.
Cas: Why? It'll look ugly!

Dad: When Tara's 18 there's a 'skin' called a cosmesis that we can put on that's the same colour, like Heather Mills, But it's way too expensive to get now while you're growing and would need a new one every 10 months. But remember the little girl you met who puts a stocking over her pretend leg so it looks more normal.
Cas: Hmmm, we could notice straight away!

Well I think Tara's been very patient with people. How do you do that?
It's easy.

And baby, are you nervous for anything?
No, not really. A bit nervous about my leg getting cut off - how it'll feel.

Are you a little scared it'll be a bit sore?
Yes.

And the pain doctor said that they'll make it ok, hey?
Yes, and they'll give me this stuff that makes it so it doesn't feel too sore. But it'll still hurt a bit.

And if it still hurts afterwards - what do you do? You tell us and then they'll come and give you a bit more medicine to make it not hurt so much. Always just talk.

So Tara - do you know why you're having an operation?
Yeah, because this thing [holding bend in leg] - it won't be able to get straight.

Would you like to say anything to your friends and family who've read your blog and sent messages?
Well, it's pretty nice...and thank you.

Do you feel special and blessed?
Yes

And you Cas?
Yes, and it's nice having a sister like Tara because then you're noticed and I like it when people come and ask me about Tara.

And for you Jadie?
J: I'm scared...that she's having her leg cut off.
T: Will you see the bones?

No, because they cut it while you're asleep and they sew your skin together before you wake up. Do you want us to try see some bones at the museum?
T: Whew, yes! Human bones?
J: And I'm scared to see blood.
C: And I'm scared it'll be ugly.
T: But look [puts her two legs together, which have a discrepancy of 7 cm and of which the left leg is pale because of having been in a brace and bandage all of her life] - this one's lighter than the other one now. They're not the same colour anyway.

It'll just take time to get used to. And we must all be honest all the time, ok? Remember the first leg is going to be horrible...
...yes, it's just for practising.

And with your next leg it'll be better, but it won't be an exact match. But you'll see how Tara can run around the garden with you, and do things she couldn't do before - and before long, you'll all be loving new cousin 'lou lou'.
J: This leg's skinnier - how will they fit on the right size leg?

Great question Jadie. We'll have to ask the prosthetist. And Tara must do her exercises!

Tara, what do you think made you be so brave? When you're scared inside, what do you do or say to make yourself feel brave?
T: I've never really done anything like that before.
C: She's always been happy and excited about new experiences. Not scared. 

M: You're right. She just gets on with it. Remember when Tara was 2 and wouldn't let us help her on the tricycle? And it took her two hours non-stop to learn - but she didn't stop till she got it right.
D: And then she wouldn't stop cycling round and round next to Noosa River till we all got dizzy.

What's your favourite thing in the whole world to do?
C: It's to play with leggie loo [Cas helps Tara do her exercises everyday]
J: To go to school.
T: Well, I'm not really sure - there's LOTS of things I love - like making things, drawing, going on the computer [laughs]. I've just started reading 'go girl' books, and I love finding things on the beach, and I like going on crutches...and going fast!

OK girls - off to bed!
All: [shouting loudly together] BYE BYE. LOVE YOU FAMILY. THIS WAS TAPED IN 2008, MARCH THE 4TH, TUESDAY.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So brilliant of you to tape and write your conversation about such an emotional and important issue to you and all your friends and family!!!

Tara: well done on being so confident about the future. It'll be ok... you know that! It's good to be always positive.

Lovely Cas: I love your inquisitive mind and the fact that you're excited about the future for Tara and all of you together as a family.

Jade: I totally understand your fears about change. Change is good but it's also scary, and you've all been so comfortable with Leggie-lou that it hasn't mattered before that nothing was changing. However, it's so important for Tara and her future independence we just all have to be strong and positive for her!

Well done guys. Lovely, even if teary eyed, reading.

xxx FG Filipa

Anonymous said...

Hi Tara and family.
This is Janet from England writing.
At last I have learnt to use this "blog" thing.
I loved reading all about all your views.Well done Tara, I know you are going to be very happy with your new leg friend, and I look forward to meeting her in November when I come

Lots of Love, Janet

Anonymous said...

This is so humbling and moving, thanks for sharing this intimate conversation with us all. Jadie talk when you are scared and unsure, Tara is very lucky to have a sister like you .

Love Tia

Anonymous said...

Great to see this blog! 3R will be very excited when I show them. Hello to all of you - we are missing you all very much and thinking of you often. I'll show the class your weblog tomorrow Tara and we'll write to you.
Loads of love to you, Jade, Cassie and Mum and Dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love Mrs Raison

Anonymous said...

Hello my lovely lovely Tara!

I have been following your blog really closely, and I'm just glowing with pride and love for you as you doing so well - Hey is it fun in the wheelchair? I guess it's great once you are on a flat bit of ground and can whizz around!!

Christian and I got married in the registry office on Friday, we drank a little toast to you - we think of you soo much!

Lots of love and kisses!

Ziggi x